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OLD MARRIED GUY: It does seem like a good idea, but most guys would never actually put that effort in. So I'll just stress for eight months, then scramble to throw something together last minute. YOUNG SINGLE GUY: So is it not the thought that counts for your wife? She does enjoy exchanging gifts I buy for better gifts (engagement ring included). I've had past relationships where girl seemed happy with anything and I still felt just as stressed out about the whole thing. Did I ever tell you about the time I accidentally asked a girl out on Valentine's Day? Of course, I wanted to play it cool, but we get there and the place is decked out like a Valentine's Day Wonderland. And they re-named all the food to have a Valentine's Day theme, so I'm holding a giant heart in my hand and saying stuff to the waitress like, "'I'll have the 'Love of My Life' hangar steak' and a side of the 'She's The One For Me' garlic mashed potatoes."YOUNG SINGLE GUY: That sounds like the best first date ever. But it also led to a lifetime of expecting the worst when it comes to all these holidays.

Maybe it's the guy on the commercial who gives his wife a Lexus. YOUNG SINGLE GUY: Oh, you don't buy your wife a car with a bow on it every Christmas? But don't you think there some crazy expectation for every holiday or event, that you're gonna come up big?

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The team uncovered that Allendale Public Schools wait half a decade before background checking a recurring volunteer.►Related: Courthouse shooter was school volunteer, prompts changes for background checks"I would say five years is probably a bit too long," Tim Porterfield, an Allendale parent said.

He beeps the horn, and I scurry over, flinging open the door. He's conquering everything in his path, from music charts, a book and a 3D movie, , to every last corner of the Internet, with more views on Twitter, Facebook and You Tube than there are people living in midsize American cities.

I'm a Belieber: The 11 Greatest Superfan Communities That's where the soundtrack to this romantic interlude screeches to a halt. Everywhere he goes, there's a melee: girls trampled underfoot before a concert in Sydney, a Long Island mall overwhelmed and a near-riot in a New Zealand airport.

Porterfield had no idea this procedure existed at his child's school.

Schools in Michigan are not required by law to do any sort of background checks on incoming school volunteers, yet the state recommends schools do so every 30 days.